Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child

“We have inherited a tradition of discounting children’s feelings simply because children are smaller, less rational, less experienced, and less powerful than the adults around them. Taking children’s emotions seriously requires empathy, keen listening skills, and a willingness to see things from their perspective. If we can communicate with empathy—this kind of intimate emotional understanding to our children, we give credence to their experience and help them learn to soothe themselves.”

“Parents who feel losing control might do well to remember the healing power of forgiveness. All parents make mistakes from time to time, losing their tempers with their children, saying or doing things they later regret. From about age four, children can understand the concept of ‘I’m sorry.’ So don’t miss the chance to go back and repair an interaction when you feel remorse. Kids give their parents lots of second changes. Remember also that forgiveness is a two-way street. It works best in families where children are allowed to be in crummy moods from time to time, where parents openly forgive their children as well.”